I W ish I Were A Liberal. By John O’Callaghan.

I wish i were a Liberal i really wish i do

then i could tell you people exactly what to do

i would swagger with a rhythm and a sycophantic bent

and if ever i am questioned i could simply just repent…..

I thought it would be easy this epiphany of mine

to embrace the Lib philosophy which is surely not a crime

but i needed expert guidance some mentors of repute

a political Beethoven or a conservative magic flute……..

I had heard about a man who was big in Sydney town

his fans called him God his opponents called him clown

so i managed a liaison with a man called Mr Drones

who proceeded to instruct me on the Liberal party tome…..

Now i couldn’t quite decipher his words just made no sense

in fact i thought they sounded,well,rather rather bent

he told me i was stupid and bellowed a decree

that progressive ways of thinking would lead to purgoraty…….

Now i quickly changed direction down south to Melbourne town

where the Holy Grail was waiting which im sure will be profound

but Christmas was approaching then the Herald angel sung

of freedom,free speech and equality, for all the Southern Sons……..

Then a hand shot out to greet me like a bolt out of the blue

he promised to introduce me to a man he called Guru

this Guru would inspire me would listen to my fears

like an Audio Pachydermos with two gigantic ears…….

He sat down and recited from a little book of blue

but halfway through summation i said it sounded like bulls poo

he roared at me in anger and took me by surprise

i think your’e just a progressive plant and your’e not even from my tribe……

My mind began to wonder just what could i do next

so i decided to seek opinion from the opposite fairer sex

i’d heard about this lady a speaker of renown

so i saddled up the bronco and rode to Canberra town…..

Her presence was formidable like an ancient warrior Queen

and the crown that sat upon her head the likes iv’e never seen

but when i asked my question on the Lib philosophy

she said You Are Out Of Order now please leave my company…….

I said i beg to differ your ruling is not fair

but she just smiled and walked away as if i wasn’t there

then suddenly i was accosted by a swarm of vicious bees

they stung me to submission and brought me to my knees……

By now i’d had a gutfull and the penny finally dropped

why these bloody stupid idealogues have really lost the plot

they bluster and they holler and shed their crocodile tears

their just filling in a vacuum just reeling in the years…….

My Father fought for freedom at this place El Alamein

so you and i would never face that threat again

some mates were killed in action some granted a reprieve

and once their wounds were tendered sent to fight the Japanese……..

Now this Government is trashing our forebears legacy

so no more will i seek Liberal i hope you will agree

they are blatant opportunist an evil cruel regime

and it’s something that Australia has never ever seen……

And so i have determined as determined as i can be

to never wish upon myself an LNP Party

they can keep their lords and laidies their knighthoods and their dames

and people who support them should hang their heads in shame……

So my message to the Government of any shape or hue

is to govern for the Country not just the chosen few

cause if you just ignore us our vote we will redact

and we will rise up and defeat you, and take our Country back………

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